I’m just going to shut down completely
I’m done. Sorry my existence is such a bother. Sorry I’m not perfect. Sorry that I’m even posting this, because according to you it makes me look full of myself. Just sorry, sorry, sorry. I’ve had it with that word…what is sorry anyway? To me it’s lost it’s meaning since I say it so much. It’s the word that defines me as “weak” in your eyes, even though I used to think it was just polite. Either way I’m a doormat. College can not come sooner. You offer me no moral support at home, and my friends are seemingly non-existent. I doubt any of them even have an inkling of an idea about whats going on in my life right now. And as college is rapidly approaching all they seem to want to do is distance themselves…I’m going the other way, I wanna clench on tight and stay in touch. I don’t get the notion that since we now aren’t going to be living in the same place anymore that we can’t be as close. What? Were we just friends by your convenience then? I suppose I was foolish to think I could keep in touch with those few close friends. Guess that’s just another thing I have to be sorry for. From now on I’m just going to channel all this pent up depression/sadness/frustration into re-inventing a new me for the coming fall. Hopefully I’ll learn to be less of a bother.